Really want to hit west coast again.


What the actual fuck.

I already knew about Boo Boo Stewart but I just found out I have ANOTHER TEENAGE BOY LOOKALIKE.

And this one’s famous too. Lovely. Homeboy probably got plastic surgery to look like me. Zelo from B.A.P (17) and young Boo Boo (14).

They’re both so girly looking. But they’re boys. WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT MY APPEARANCE?!? I’m a tomboy but never thought I looked like a boy…

Not to mention - it’s hilarious reading girls on tumblr fangirl over him. Some chick was all, “Zelo’s kitten eyes <333” and I’m all, “THOSE ARE MY EYES YOU’RE FAWNING OVER.” Like, seriously, do I have kitten eyes??? Hmm.

Zelo fans, just gonna say: Hi. I’m Lauren. 22 and mixed asian/european. Astounded to find a k-pop star who looks like me, let alone one nicknamed “Giant Baby.” 


Lauren as a dyke zelo B.A.P BAP boo boo stewart
The Process of Music Addiction

Step 1: Watch the MV again
Step 2: Watch the MV… again
Step 3: Watch the MV again and add the song to iPod
Step 4: Listen more, look up live performances
Step 5: Watch some BTS vids
Step 6: Start to recognize faces
Step 7: Learn the names to the faces
Step 8: Learn to tell voices apart
Step 9: Load ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY onto iTunes


music addiction music addiction addictive personality happens every time

laurennakaowinn:



ARMOR I: “Investigate the skin you’ve been comfortable in until now.”This is the first image of an incredibly personal project of mine; it explores armor beneath the skin and the duality of strength and vulnerability.I was able to work with one of my favorite models, Julia. She’s been an inspiration from the start and I couldn’t be any more honored to have done this with her.Model: Julia FaeHair/Make-up: Bianca Marie


The project of all projects. Please follow me on my photography tumblr or my photography facebook to see the rest of the shoot. I&#8217;ll be posting an image a day x

laurennakaowinn:

ARMOR I: “Investigate the skin you’ve been comfortable in until now.”

This is the first image of an incredibly personal project of mine; it explores armor beneath the skin and the duality of strength and vulnerability.

I was able to work with one of my favorite models, Julia. She’s been an inspiration from the start and I couldn’t be any more honored to have done this with her.

Model: Julia Fae
Hair/Make-up: Bianca Marie

The project of all projects. Please follow me on my photography tumblr or my photography facebook to see the rest of the shoot. I’ll be posting an image a day x


personal julia fae

Marion Cotillard for Interview Magazine, 2014.&#8212;
Lack of desire, or lack of being desired. One of them keeps you inside.

Marion Cotillard for Interview Magazine, 2014.

Lack of desire, or lack of being desired. One of them keeps you inside.


editorial photography editorial photography marion cotillard femme fatale

Deeper the Wound by Derek Hess.
&#8220;This piece is about putting yourself in a vulnerable situation while not taking into account the motives of others. Taking a cheap shot designed to lower your self esteem. Getting what you deserve.&#8221;
&#8212;
Step 1.

Deeper the Wound by Derek Hess.


This piece is about putting yourself in a vulnerable situation while not taking into account the motives of others. Taking a cheap shot designed to lower your self esteem. Getting what you deserve.”

Step 1.


derek hess deeper the wound

It&#8217;s been a long time since I dreamt about my parents dying.I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve dreamt of my dad dying since I was five. I&#8217;ve dreamt of my mom dying more recently, but even then it&#8217;s been a few years.Both of them in the same night though&#8230;I guess this week is getting to me, whether I let myself think about it or not.

It’s been a long time since I dreamt about my parents dying.

I don’t think I’ve dreamt of my dad dying since I was five. I’ve dreamt of my mom dying more recently, but even then it’s been a few years.

Both of them in the same night though…

I guess this week is getting to me, whether I let myself think about it or not.


4.24 elizabeth personal
Jobs, then Career

Every day someone contacts me to take photos or do a video for them. I’ve said yes to almost everything, even a few unpaid projects for good friends. My savings are rapidly depleting. I don’t have time to even take care of my own endeavors but I need to do what I can to mend my bank account.

I was rehired by a former employer earlier today as a photographer; they agreed to pay my asking rate, which is over 3x what I used to make. Funny how that works. It makes me cautiously optimistic.

But I’m also worried about my career. I thought I’d be applying for jobs by now, but I still think most of it is useless since I am not yet living in the city and I’m not exactly sure when my move-in date is.

And then there’s experience… No, I haven’t worked under a photographer. No, I haven’t worked in a studio before. But I know exactly what I am doing. I need to find an employer who will weigh my portfolio over my credentials. Because I’ve done in less than two years what many photographers haven’t done in 10, 15, or 20. But if I tell an employer that, all they will hear is “less than two years.” And even then, that’s not working at a studio.

And once an employer does consider hiring me, will I be respected? As an asian female, will I be compensated as a white male with my experience and drive would? That is a priority. Forget numbers, I don’t want to work for a company that doesn’t respect equal opportunity on principle.

And after that, growth. Throughout college I’ve outgrown my jobs every year. I need a job that will challenge me and give me room to grow. Ideally I would work under a senior photographer so I can gain enough experience to become a senior photographer in 2-3 years. I cannot work somewhere that doesn’t challenge me. I’d rather be unemployed and desperately trying to live off freelance work… which is moderately doable here. In NYC I have no chance at the moment. No contacts = no jobs.

It might seem selfish and even naive to a degree to expect my first entry-level job to meet all my demands, and in the biggest city on earth nonetheless. But this is how I’ve always done things. I expect nothing but the best. I expect myself to be on the level of the pro’s. I’m not there yet, not even close. But I do a great job at making everyone else think so. You learn quickly when you compare yourself to those entirely much more experienced than you.

Then comes in… my 10 year plan. I’ve learned at an exponential level these past two years. I conquered my community in Chapel Hill first as the go-to person for video, now photos. I’m hoping this learning curve isn’t a learning curve at all. I want to keep skyrocketing, with every year a dramatic difference from the last. If I can keep this up, I can be the photographer I want to be by the time I am 30. I just need to keep moving. Goal to goal, uncompromising as I have been the whole time.

To be continued.


personal life update photographer life photographers on tumblr

Stuck in chaos, let us go from the commercial, the loud, the falsehood, the ephemeral satisfaction. Beauty in stillness awaits, life in a mute cherry blossom storm.

Stuck in chaos, let us go from the commercial, the loud, the falsehood, the ephemeral satisfaction. Beauty in stillness awaits, life in a mute cherry blossom storm.


escape personal sakura cherry blossom japan

Matt Monath self portrait.
&#8212;Tear away the skin but don&#8217;t be shocked that the vibrance doesn&#8217;t reach the core.

Matt Monath self portrait.



Tear away the skin but don’t be shocked that the vibrance doesn’t reach the core.


matt monath self portrait photography photographers on tumblr low key
«back